To the one who got away

I wish I told you how much I loved you but I'm sure you already knew. Instead I listened as you told me you were in love for the first time; in love with her smile and the way she makes you laugh.

As I fell in love with you, you fell in love with her.

I was there when you had your first argument with her and even the second, third, and eleventh. I told you to stop over thinking because there is no reason to cry when you both didn't mean the things you said.

I told you she loved you. 

I told you I want you to be happy. 

That's all I ever wanted.

Even if I wasn't the one making you happy. I saw the way your eyes lit when you talked about her. 

So when I think about the first time I really knew I loved you, it was the moment when I didn't want to be selfish and take away something so precious away from you. 

If I could go back in time, I would do everything just the same.

I see that your smile remained and your laugh still does the same low to high pitch thing you always did. 

I didn't tell you I love you then but when you read this, I want you to know that if I ever cross paths with you again, the first thing I'm telling you is how I should have kissed you.