So for the past three days I have been telling myself to
just take it easy and try not to over think; however, my mind cannot comprehend
the “take it easy part and try not to over think” part. So lately yesterday I
had class and I can admit that I truly was not feeling being at the rig
yesterday. I was literally counting down the minutes and not even an hour had
passed. I’m not sure if it has to do with me not doing hands on things, maybe
things will change once I actually DO something, but right now, for the past
week I have been dreading the class. I have never felt so unsatisfied with the
going to the rig than I did yesterday. Lately I=my future has been on my mind
constantly and I don’t want to make the wrong decision by not doing what makes
me happy. I don’t know if being a doctor infatuates me due to the fact that I
am saving someone’s life and it is the only way I am 100% positive that I can
make a difference in someone’s life but the feeling I got yesterday during
class makes me hesitate a bit. Normally I am enthusiastic about everything, I
love school because each day there is something new. I get excited about
discussing The Color Purple and I love being in class because my English class
makes my day as we exhibit topics about life and how Alice Walker illustrates
parallelisms to reality. I am really into the movie we are watching in
psychology which demonstrates struggles and barriers individuals overcome while
encounters of mental illnesses. Today in class my teacher quoted Emily
Dickenson and said, “Hope is the thing with feathers,” and this quote has been
in the front of my mind all day. What does it mean? Well I did a little research and took the
time to read Dickenson’s poem and basically it illustrates hardships that we
face during our life span and all of the times of strife; however, through all
difficulties, one should never lose hope. This quote got me through the day.
Another thing on my mind. Relationships. By now many know
that I am a passive person, I go with the flow and try to avoid all conflicts
but it is really hard for me to not be affected when the people I truly care
for are the ones being hurt. I know that I can handle disappointment,
rejection, and anything that comes my way because regardless I am going be
okay. Sometimes the people I care for cannot handle the hurt and it is not
under my control. I strongly dislike feeling helpless and watching on the
sidelines.
Oh&& I am just fascinated by the moon<3